Laughter is the best medicine

This morning I was a bit crabby. Jesse needed to drop me off at work and I tried to rush everyone out the door so I wouldn't be late. Ivan whined the entire time while I was getting ready.

We were starting to run late and I saw Jesse go over toward his computer and I snapped at him, "Don't get on the computer! We need to go right now!"

Jesse said, "Can't I get my wallet and keys?" Sorry. Totally thought you were about to check your e-mail.

So, on the drive to work I said to Jesse, "Ivan woke up twice last night."

To which Jesse replied, "Why did you wake him up? Don't you know you need your rest?"

Thank you Jesse for continuing, year after year, to dispel my tension with a good laugh.

On a more serious note...

I haven't been blogging much lately due to working full-time. I have to say that being a working parent is bitter-sweet. I enjoy having a job and getting out of the house very much. I love using my brain for non-Mommy tasks. I've been trying my hardest to find balance in all areas of my life but IT IS NOT EASY. I've given a great deal of thought as to why it's so hard and I've come to this conclusion: my family still wants the same amount of attention from me as before but I have 45 hours less per week to provide it.

Where does that leave me? Um, a little haggard at times. I think this will all get easier with experience. I've only been working for six short weeks. For me, having a balanced life takes planning. I need time to develop my "game plan." There's no way that fitting in work, time with kids, time with Jesse, time alone, a little exercise, healthy eating, drinking binges, staring at the wall, American Idol, and plenty of sleep will all just happen by accident.

I will say this though: Even on my most frustrating and exhausting day I still feel incredibly lucky. I have a beautiful and healthy family, a good job, plenty of food, and a comfortable home. It's a lot to be thankful for.

Daddy's Special Touch

Jesse has fully embraced the stay-at-home parent role while I'm away at work. This has given him the opportunity to truly bond with Ivan. The poopy diapers, spit-up, bottles, rice cereal, crying, laughing, drooling...Jesse takes it all in stride.

He has discovered a special way of soothing Ivan that only he can do. He sits Ivan in his lap at the computer, blasts rock music (such as The Cure), and air drums while holding Ivan. At first Ivan is very excited and his eyes are open wide. Gradually, he calms down and just stares, mesmerized by the sound and movement. By the end of the second song Jesse is just bouncing Ivan on his leg to the beat. Ivan can't keep his eyes open and falls fast asleep.

It's funny that music that is a bit loud for my taste lulls Ivan to sleep. Sometimes it's apparent that Jesse understands Ivan's needs better than I do.

A slower pace of life

I've decided that I want to try riding a bike to work (weather permitting). Every day I see people riding their bikes on a nice bike path while I drive. Oregon is a very bicycle friendly state with bike lanes on most roads. I want to take advantage of my new city for all that it has to offer. So, I took the bike out today to plot my 4.5 mile course and make sure that I won't be late to work on Monday by getting lost. It was an incredibly beautiful ride because the bike path parallels the Willamette River for a mile. Now that's how I want to start my day!

The only problem is that I'm a little out of shape. I really don't understand why. It's not like I finished college, gave birth, moved to a new state, and started a new job in the last six months or anything. I really have no excuse for not finding time to exercise.

Excuses aside, it's time to do something about the lack of physical activity in my life. I now have a desk job. I sit on my butt for most of 40 hours a week. If I don't "build in" some physical activity to my daily routine I will get squishy-er and squishy-er. My behind is already about as firm as a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I don't know how much softer it could get but I don't want to find out.

Many Firsts...

1. First time living in Oregon.
2. First full-time job with benefits.
3. First time supporting MY family with MY paycheck.
4. First time screening a slide as a licensed Cytotechnologist.
5. First time living in a HOUSE with Jesse.
6. First time having washer/dryer hook-ups!
7. First time having an attached garage, a fireplace, and three bedrooms.
8. First time having my own back yard.
9. First time (in many years) to scrape frost off of my windshield with a credit card while wearing mittens.
10. First time coming home from work to be greeted by a handsome husband and two beautiful kids waiting for me at the front door.

It's time for the inevitable...

"Maternity leave" is almost over. Okay, so it wasn't technically maternity leave. I certainly wasn't receiving any disability pay during this time. I was just in between finishing college and starting a job. And guess what? I found a job! Woo-hoo! And we're moving to Oregon for that job and we are very very excited.

Now I am soon to face the many dilemmas that working moms must confront:

1. Who will take care of Ivan and Adelle? Simple. Daddy will! We're a bit unconventional around here and Jesse is going to be a stay-at-home-dad until further notice. Jesse will continue to do what he does best: working from home, being his own boss, playing with toys, and making Adelle and Ivan laugh and smile.

2. Will I continue to breastfeed or switch to formula? Will I pump at work? I guess I'm going to continue to breastfeed and I will have to pump at work. Although it isn't the easiest thing to do, I believe it's healthiest for Ivan. Ivan isn't tolerant of dairy or soy and I would probably have to spend a small fortune buying some kind of hypoallergenic formula. I'm not even considering it at this point.

3. How will Jesse get Ivan to sleep when I'm gone? Well, it's time for some tough love. This is the part I've been dreading the most! Like most breastfed babies he often falls asleep nursing. This is very nice, easy, and involves no crying. Unfortunately Daddy can't replace me on this one and it's time to start a sleep routine that doesn't involve nursing. We've decided to try letting him "cry it out" after a routine of rocking and singing a bit. It goes against my nature to not cuddle and soothe him to sleep but I understand that it could lead to him learning to soothe himself. We just started a few days ago and it's a bit early to evaluate the method but I think it will probably work. I'll give an update in a few days on the situation.

4. How will I balance work and family? I have to admit that I don't think it will be too hard. I've always planned on being a working mom and I believe that when I get a "break" from home I come back refreshed and a better parent and wife. Although working isn't exactly a vacation, it is still a break from being a mom. Although a huge part of my self-identity is being a mom, it's very important to me that I still get to live out other parts of my identity such as my interest in all things pertaining to the medical field. I can't wait to start my cytotech job!